Những ngã tư và những cột đèn-Trần Dần: Mộc mạc và chân thật

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Những ngã tư và những cột đèn-Trần Dần

Những ngã tư và những cột đèn-Trần Dần

Những ngã tư và những cột đèn được Trần Dần viết sau một thời gian tiếp xúc với nhiều ngụy binh cũ thời Pháp thuộc. Bản thảo hoàn thành được gửi lên Sở Công an, nhưng mãi 22 năm sau Sở Công an Hà Nội mới trả lại bản thảo cho tác giả, và toàn bộ các nhà xuất bản đều từ chối ông.

Tiểu thuyết được xuất bản lần đầu tiên sau 44 năm bản thảo hoàn thành và đã qua một lần sửa chữa trước khi xuất bản là 21 năm.

Những ngã tư và những cột đèn có thể là một tiểu thuyết về chiến tranh… Những tình bạn, những tình yêu, đã đi qua chiến tranh, đi qua hòa bình, rồi lại rơi vào chiến tranh, có còn nguyên vẹn? Và những tính cách, thói quen con người, có thể nào không thay đổi cùng hoàn cảnh?

Dưới đây là những đoạn mà tôi thấy tâm đắc. Ngoài những đoạn này còn có nhiều đoạn hay và kiến thức khác nữa, phụ thuộc vào mỗi góc nhìn và sự hiểu biết của mỗi người mà bạn có thể tìm thấy từ cuốn sách.

Ở đoạn trích, trong một vài từ chữ “y” được chuyển thành “i”, đây không phải là do lỗi do tôi, mà là do tác giả muốn vậy.

1. “I như đứa trẻ bị bố đánh đòn: nó cười toe toét, vì nó coi như xong, và cũng vì bố nó đánh rồi, nó có thể iên trí đùa nghịch này nọ, đến trận đòn khác hẵng hay. Đứa trẻ này, chỉ lo lắng khi phạm lỗi, là chưa bị ăn đòn.”

2. “…tôi viết nhật kí, để đưa hiện tại của tôi ra khỏi thời gian, để ngày hôm nay được tồn tại, vĩnh viễn.”

3. “Ghi nhật ký là một động tác thỏa mãn nhu cầu đối thoại không thể, với người khác. Nhật ký, thực chất là một tài sản riêng tư, dù không vì mục đích bảo vệ tính chất riêng tư. Cho nên động tác ghi nhật ký thực chất là tư hứu hóa những sự kiện.”

4. “…hồn nhiên lợi nhuận hơn tư cách…”

5. “…người nói dối cứ phải tiếp tục nói dối, đến hết đời. Nói dối, chính là một lối trừng phạt, của lương tâm. Cho nên, nếu vì cái hạt lương tâm nhỏ bé,…, thì lương tâm, đến lượt nó, sẽ không để tôi iên.
Tôi còn nghĩ, lương tâm nếu không trừng phạt được tôi, sẽ bỏ đi. Mất lương tâm tôi sẽ thành con vật. Còn tồi tệ hơn.”

6. “Trách nhiệm pháp lí thì có hạn, ngược lại trách nhiệm tinh thần, thì vô hạn. Người ta đau khổ nhiều, người ta hoặc trở thành vĩ nhân, hoặc thành thằng điên rồ, cũng chính vì món trách nhiệm tinh thần này.”

7. “Người nào đó có ích hơn, cho xã hội, không thể trả lời đuợc. Phải đợi, lúc kết thúc của…cuộc đời, mới có thể kết luận, nào đó, nhưng kết luận cũng chưa chắc thỏa đáng, cho toàn bộ các lí thuyết.”

8. “Tôi đâu biết, ngã tư nào lưu manh, ngã tư nào đọa lạc, ngã tư nào gian dối.”

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