LÌ XÌ CHO CON MỘT ƯỚC MƠ

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LÌ XÌ CHO CON MỘT ƯỚC MƠ - Vikwi cho thuê sách
LÌ XÌ CHO CON MỘT ƯỚC MƠ - Vikwi cho thuê sách

Hội Tâm lý – giáo dục TP HCM đã từng điều tra trên khoảng 1.000 hộ gia đình, kết quả 90% cha mẹ phát hiện sai năng khiếu, thiên hướng bẩm sinh của trẻ.

Chuyên gia tâm lý Ngô Minh Uy trong lần nói chuyện với phụ huynh ở NVH Thiếu nhi nói: “Nếu có công ty tư vấn tâm lý nào có thể test được con bạn hợp với nghề gì, tôi nghĩ yêu cầu nộp cả ngàn đô chắc ba mẹ không tiếc.” Thì cha mẹ nào chẳng rất rất nôn nóng muốn biết con mình sau này sẽ là ai!

Qúai gở nhất trong việc nuôi và dạy trẻ con ở VN, là yêu cầu đứa nào trong lớp cũng phải học 1 lượng kiến thức giống nhau, ngoan giống nhau, phải viết đẹp giống nhau, làm toán giống nhau, đều phải “khoanh tay mắt nhìn lên bảng”…
Thậm chí cân nặng phải tương đương nhau, mọc răng, tập đi vào 1 tháng nhất định…
Luôn luôn bị so sánh! Từ bác sỹ, tới Bộ GD, tới phụ huynh, nếu thấy trẻ này chậm hơn trẻ kia vài tháng là xoắn quẩy hết cả lên!

Làm ơn hãy nhớ, mỗi đứa trẻ đều khác nhau! Mỗi đứa có ước mơ riêng, có tốc độ riêng, có xu hướng tiếp thu kiến thức riêng, có cách học riêng. Làm ơn!

Một người bạn cuả tôi thì làm cách này: Nhiều năm nay luôn dành giờ khắc thiêng liêng đêm giao thừa để nói chuyên với con về nghề nghiệp. Cả nhà đều trân trọng việc này ngay từ nhỏ, chứ ko phải tới Học kỳ 2 lớp 12.

Đêm giao thừa, anh nói với con: “Bố mẹ sẽ lì xì cho con một ước mơ. Con thích sau này làm nghề gì? Con thích sau này sẽ trở thành ai? Hãy viết ước mơ của con vào thiệp ước đúng giờ phút thiêng liêng này thì sẽ rất linh nghiệm.”

Hồi tụi nó còn nhỏ thì những điều ước còn ngây thơ lắm, nhưng ảnh không đánh giá đúng sai, chỉ lắng nghe, nâng niu, và… gật gù!

Rồi ảnh cho con tiếp xúc với nghề đó. Ví dụ hồi đó con anh thích làm bác sỹ. Thế là ảnh bắt đầu mua sách về các tấm gương bác sỹ giỏi cho con xem, kể cả sách văn học, cả phim lãng mạn kiểu “Đèn không hắt bóng”, “Blu trắng”… thử tất!

Rồi ảnh tranh thủ mọi cơ hội cho con vào thăm bệnh viện. Cho con kết thân với bác sỹ, rồi xin phụ việc lặt vặt ở phòng khám cuả bác sỹ…. Tiếp xúc trực tiếp với nghề là rất quan trọng. Bởi vì có nhiều bé thần tượng bác sỹ, nhưng khi ngửi mùi cồn lại muốn ói, và nhìn thấy máu me thì té xỉu.

Anh kiên nhẫn lắm, giao thừa nào cũng lì xì cho con ước mơ nghề nghiệp, năm này qua năm khác.

Vì ảnh là chuyên gia tâm lý, hehehe!

Còn ở HHT, tôi thấy phần lớn trẻ con ít được tiếp xúc với các nghề. Như tôi ngày xưa chỉ biết sơ sơ: nghề của bố mẹ, nghề cô giáo, nghề bác sỹ khi đi khám bệnh, rồi nghề bán hàng khi đi mua hàng. Suốt 12 năm chuyên Toán và phân ban A, tôi có gặp cô nhà báo nào đâu. ( ! Vì vậy, bạn phải nạp vào ngân hàng con một cơ số nghề dồi dào.

Tôi hay dẫn Xu Sim đi làm, đi chơi cùng với mẹ, cũng là vì tôi muốn Xu Sim tiếp xúc với nhiều người trong xã hội. Tôi giới thiệu: “Đây là cô Hằng, cô ấy làm kế toán. Công việc của cô ấy là…”. Cũng khá thủ công.

Khi xem cái trắc nghiệm Hướng nghề định nghiệp Harrison Assessment của Mỹ có tới 6500 nghề, tôi choáng, hic hic, tôi mà giới thiệu hết chắc chết.

Nhớ có lần tôi đã viết rằng, cho con đi du lịch để dạy con đại lý, lịch sử chỉ là một phần nhỏ thôi. Mà, đi nhiều, chơi nhiều, làm việc nhiều, tự quyết, tự lập nhiều, quan trọng nhất là để con HIỂU VỀ CHÍNH MÌNH.

Con phải biết LẮNG NGHE MÌNH, con thích gì nhất, ghét gì nhất, tại sao. Cái gì con ưu tiên hơn, cái gì con thấy có cũng được mà mất cũng ko tiếc đến chết!

Hôm rồi, có bạn 22 tuổi, làm trắc nghiệm, khi bài yêu cầu xếp thứ tự ưu tiên từ rất thích tới rất ghét thì bạn ấy làm rối linh tinh. Dù rằng đã tốt nghiệp đại học, nhưng nếu chỉ đơn thuần là thợ học, thợ thi, ba mẹ đặt đâu con ngồi đấy, chẳng hiểu mình muốn gì thích gì, thì thậm chí cao thủ như trắc nghiệm Harrison Assessment cũng khó mà chọn nghề đúng cho bạn được.

Trong cuốn Làm lành với hôn nhân cuả Elizabeth Gilbert, có kể: Đi buôn đá quý Brazil, họ thường bán sỉ theo gói, khoảng 20 – 30 viên đá quý /gói. Hồi mới bắt đầu, anh thường lỗ chỏng vó, vì quá vui mừng với một hay hai viên ngọc hoàn hảo trong gói, anh bỏ qua những thứ tạp nhạp trong đó. Sau khi bị gạt đủ điều, anh cũng khôn ra và học được rằng: ta cần phải phớt lờ những viên đá quý hoàn hảo. Thậm chí không nhìn vào chúng, bởi vì chúng đã quá lấp lánh. Hãy xem xét cẩn thận những viên thật sự xấu. Hãy nhìn ngắm chúng thật kỹ và sau đó tự hỏi mình một cách thành thực: “Mình có thể gia công những viên đá này không? Mình có thể chịu đựng nổi chúng ko?”

Người ta thường yêu một nghề nào đó, (hay một người nào đó, vì những thứ lấp lánh. Nhưng hãy nhớ câu hỏi vô cùng quan trọng là: ta có thể chấp nhận các khó khăn vất vả của nghề đó không? Ví dụ, bạn yêu nghề bác sỹ vì sứ mạng cứu người, nhưng bạn không thể chịu đựng được máu mủ, hôi thối, không chịu được thức đêm, không chịu đựng được áp lực, ko chịu đựng được việc ngày nào cũng đối diện với những người ốm yếu, nhăn nhó, cáu kỉnh… thì khó đấy!

Cần phải cho con nhìn vào cả mặt sau của tấm huy chương, vì con sẽ phải sống mỗi ngày với chúng. Nếu không chấp nhận được mặt sau thì mỗi ngày sẽ nặng nề như 1 ngày tù ấy ạ.

Hướng nghiệp là không đơn giản. Thực sự phải đầu tư thời gian!

Nguồn: Thu Ha.

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